Yesterday, I took part in the second of an unspecified number of guest recordings for a podcast I’ve found myself involved with, and this is both exciting and terrifying at the same time. Exciting because so far it’s been a lot of fun and I’m really enjoying being even a small part of something like this. Terrifying because I really hate the sound of my own voice in recordings.
I’ve always had a self-confidence issue with my voice. When I was younger I’d dive feet first into karaoke events as a form of overcompensation, belting out terrible renditions of Sweet Child o’ Mine at every available opportunity (except for that one time I did Dave Lee Roth’s version of California Girls for a change) but since starting my transition I’ve been even more conscious of how I sound. I have no illusions about this, I know with absolute certainty that my vocal range is far from (traditionally) feminine, and this bothers me. The only thing I dislike even more is having my photo taken. So if you’d have told me even two months ago that I’d be doing this I’d have rudely told you where to get off. But here I am, deliberately allowing my voice to be included in something that’s going out on the interwebs. So why *am* I doing this?
I’m doing it because one way of dealing with your fears is to face them head on. I don’t have to listen to the podcasts when they go live, though I probably will. Maybe I’ll even get used to this idea that my voice isn’t as bad as I’ve allowed myself to believe. Or not. But the more I do this, the more I overcome my anxiety and sit myself down in front of that microphone, the more self-confidence I can build for myself and (hopefully) the less uncomfortable I become with the me I imagine myself to be.
So anyway, yeah. If you want to hear me squawking into a microphone while a bunch of really nice people enact a fun and slightly silly D&D campaign, please do feel free to check out The Campaign Trail when it comes out on your podcast platform of choice. The first episode is due to go live on 28 April, featuring the delightful role-playing talents of Steven Poore, Joanne Hall and Aym Phoenix, with the marvellous Joel Cornah as DM.
The Campaign Trail on iTunes – https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-campaign-trail/id1239438141
The Campaign Trail on Podbean – https://www.podbean.com/podcast-detail/n5tff-5dc72/The-Campaign-Trail-Podcast